In the retail world they say location is everything, location, location, location. In the world of sex generally people get stuck, yes stuck in the bedroom. Perhaps many of you have fond memories of your first sexual relationship and at that time sex was "wherever you were and who had time to wait until we get home"? So our first tip is get out of the bedroom. Part of being spontaneous is being well, spontaneous. Have sex in the back seat of your car, or at a neighbors house bathroom during a party. Have sex in in the park at night or on a secluded road in the mountains. Have sex at the beach on vacation or on the balcony. Stroke your partner during the movies or rent a room in a hotel and have sex for lunch. Anything that gets old is not as much fun as when it was new. If you are going to the same old restaurant don't you want to try a new place once in a while? Location is important and you need to get out of the bedroom.
We can't emphasize enough that a rut is created when we do the same thing, the same old way, at the same time and so on. If this in some way describes your sex life then location is a good enough place to start. Don't use the excuse that you have kids, or a standing in the community as a way of holding yourself back. Nothing we suggest is intended to compromise those very important considerations. Surely you can imagine hundreds of places to have sex that while there is a chance of getting caught, the thrill of great sex overcomes that. Remember how you couldn't keep your hands off your wife before you were married? Well if that is missing you have to reenergize it with your wife or at least sort of with her. Ask her to wear a wig, a costume, or to change the way she dresses. Ask her to role play as a stripper, old girlfriend or whatever turns you on. The beauty is here you are having real sex with your real wife but pretending about some elements of the sexual part of it all. Sex, back then, was a priority and should be again. Don't fool yourself into believing that another woman is the answer as much as a new attitude is really the answer. If you can't or won't get out of the house then surely you can get out of the bedroom. The next time your partner is in the shower, join him. Make it a good clean fun shower and you don't need much help here except consider taking a water proof vibrator in with you. You should own a waterproof vibrator for times just like this and when you go to the pool, Jacuzzi or hot tub.
Remember the next time you are in the kitchen and she bends over to get a pan or something out of the refrigerator to take the girl by the hips and show her how you are feeling. The couch in the living room isn't just for watching TV. and the change of scenery will do both of you a lot of good. You should make it a habit to make love in at least every room once a year just to spread the fun around the house and get out of the bedroom.
The Great Outdoors - One evening after coming home from a movie, a restaurant or dancing try giving your grass at home a well deserved workout. Find a dimly lit part of your or your neighbors lawn and get naked. Sure it is a little risky but that is part of the fun, after all. Sex out doors is just the change of pace you need. Use the hood of your car for a perfect place to bend over and he can take up the back end. Bring a blanket and have a picnic lunch and you are dessert. Sex out of doors is exciting and full of adventure plus again who knows who is watching. If you are afraid of getting caught that may also be the adrenaline that helps make this a naughty adventure you have been lacking.
Don't bother to get undressed! Sexy skirts were made for a quickie and the sex doesn't have to be quick but getting prepared shouldn't be a hassle. Girls, pull your sexy panties down and bend over and guys just flip it out. Why not get undressed? Well sometimes the moment can pass when we over prepare. Remember part of this is being spontaneous and if you say I don't like being spontaneous then perhaps that is part of the problem. Truth is spontaneity is exaggerated and rarely happens. When you were in school did you not anticipate having sex? Didnt you simply know sex was part of the day or weekend? Werent you always prepared for sex? You did it at her babysitters house, in her parents bed, in the grass in front of his house or in the back of the van as it sped down the freeway. Think back about all the places you had sex and it wasnt so much about not planning but more about doing it wherever and whenever the mood came up. In the bathroom of a party, in the desert while target practicing. How about at your best friends apartment, in the closet at her girlfriends apartment. The list of where and when you had sex is a long one. Sex doesn't have to be and isn't about planning but about giving in to your feelings and acting to fulfill those needs. It is exciting to just do it for a change instead of every Saturday night at eleven you turn out the lights and do the same old, same old.
Position, Position, Position - Are you a slave to the missionary position? Do you ever wonder why they wrote the Kama Sutra Book on Sexual Positions? Well the reason is that some women can climax better being in the doggie position or the reverse cowgirl. Some men love it when women are on top and women say that after getting used to it, they never want to go back to being on the bottom with their legs in the air but on top with their finger on the button. What ever your favorite position is try another one, try all the other ones and invent a couple of your own. As you may see already there are a number of methods, locations and positions to help enhance your love life and all of them are free or they ought to be.
I'll show you mine if you show me yours? - Masturbate in front of your mate while he masturbates in front of you! Yes, you heard me. If you haven't done it it will set you free so to speak. Watching each other masturbate is a natural idea and you need to try it. Pleasuring yourself if natural and why not enjoy it with the person you love. It is also very private and intimate and mutual masturbation is just another means of expressing your sexuality. If you feel a little squeamish at first that is natural especially if you have masturbated alone for some time. That is why both of you need to try it simultaneously for a chance to enjoy each others bodies. Role Playing- Role playing is nothing more than pretending to be someone else and acting out a character. There are as many ways to role play and you need to find out which one works for you. You have likely seen, heard or watched something in movies, on television or elsewhere where she is the nurse and you are the doctor or she is the secretary and he is the boss. Well that is role playing and these tame examples are a great place to start. Truth is the more out there you go the better for your libido. It is essential that you communicate with your partner and that may be a problem, particularly at first as many couples who have lost the fire have also lost some or all communication. Share your fantasies and don't hold back! If you say you don't have fantasies then that may be a part of many couples fundamental problems but don't worry as you can create a fantasy right now. As an example my wife and I attended a Tony Robbins seminar a while back and my wife told me that she thought he was so hot and yes he is tall, very dynamic, good looking and the whole nine yards. Well I encouraged her to express her feelings for him in bed at our hotel after a day long seminar. Lets just say that she had an explosive evening, calling me Tony and urging Tony to take care of her in ways I did not know she was aware of. This continued for many months afterwards. In other words if you don't have a fantasy it is because you haven't thought of it or it needs some encouragement to come out. The content for these fantasies can be person or situation specific or more general. Specific actors, personalities, sports figures, porn stars or even friends is fair game as they are fantasies, remember? Role playing with sexy costumes is very popular and the naughtier and sluttier the costume the better. How about wearing a wig? Nothing changes a woman's appearance quite like a wig. Try wearing no sexy panties at all and whispering in his ear that he is about to get flashed. Lift your sexy mini skirt at an opportune moment and show him your shaven pubic region. Try wearing see through panties and letting him see the landing strip you shaved that morning. Wear a sexy mini skirt with high heels and sexy stockings. The list goes on and on. Erotica:
Whether it be videos or stories, photographs or naughty letters erotica comes in many, many forms. In the age of the internet getting access to these forms of erotica is usually free or can be purchased for a small amount. If you say you don't enjoy smut then try it for a couple of weeks and if it doesn't work for you move on, but denying the value to an adult's sex life is potentially part of the problem many couples have. They want a great sex life but won't do this, that and surely won't do this and that. Experimenting is what many couples did before they got married and it was exciting then. Perhaps going back to what worked is the answer now as well. Try to explore and find out what turns your mate on in bed. Try exploring your fantasies and potential hers by telling her a story. Huh, what an odd idea you say? Well try it and see how it works. Ask your wife, girlfriend to lay quietly in bed and start spinning a tale of hot, forbidden sex with her as the main character. Include yourself, and it doesn't matter if the man tells the story or the woman, as the main character and go crazy. Once you get started you will likely see where to go, who to add and what they must do, to whom, where and when. How about your wife is getting dressed for a party and you guide her thought that with naughty, even lurid details. Describe her sexy panties, thoughts about who is going to be there and what he is going to do to her in the cabana while everyone is at the party except you are watching it all through the window. It is easy once you get started and you will find that you and she are hot when you are done if she lets you finish.
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